One life, one game, one team, one invincibles

One life, one game, one team, one Invincibles (So far)

Monday, 20 May 2013

STRESS: Arsenal induced stress, de-stressing this summer and stressed out Totts.

Stressful game football isn't it? Especially so if you're a hard-core fan which I suspect most of you are. And anyone who still thinks 4th place or qualifying for the Champions League is not important or doesn't really matter too much should consider their own personal stress levels on Sunday 19th May. If you were really not stressed about qualifying for the qualifiers in the Champions League or finishing above the Tiny Totts then let's face it you're not a serious fan are you? Even our most negative Arsenal fans found it seriously difficult to handle, and so they should or they wouldn't be fans. But if anyone out there wasn't able to enjoy the outcome then I just feel really very sorry for you. All things are relative and being up against the Tiny Totts for 4th on the final day simply upped the anti.

Enjoying the outcome photo of the day
 Sunday 19th May - great wind-up pic by Jodie
I believe that the worst of our new stadium induced financial tribulations are now finally over and I believe this summer will see us kick on with about three major signings. But I doubt that these will include a mega name such as a Ronaldo, Bale or Rooney (a granny-shagging blob I don't want in any case). Just who would buy Rooney is big, big problem for United altogether should they really want to ditch him, and if they don't he'll be a major problem for Moyes - good. But I digress.
Before that even starts however we must firstly out all the dead wood - this would appear to be in hand with Arshavin and Chamakh but will be a difficult and protracted process with regards to the likes of Bendtner, Squillachi, Djourou, Park, Denilson and other long forgotten on loan players. Is Coquelin worthy of a squad place? Is Fabianski? Is Frimpong? Is Gervinho? All questions to be answered this summer. And what about Diaby you ask - yet another imponderable. Ruthlessness and expedience will be much in demand this June, July and August in moving players on, sometimes against their will, and will be far harder to expedite than moving any in. That said we still won't have CL football till we qualify which may mean yet more late arrivals making them more difficult to get up to full fitness and to making them fully integrated.
Difficult to know the real answer when you consider how many Arsenal fans initially got their answers wrong regarding their thoughts on the long written off Rosicky, the vastly under-rated Arteta, the clearly not-good enough Koscielny and Metesacker (their opinions not mind). The Ox was initially touted as just another too young youngster purchased when experience was required. Well he’s looking good to me as are the others mentioned above. Our squad is coming together, seems unlikely to be losing any quality other than perhaps Sagna and we have positive chances of added quality.
Stress has been the order of our season and its been another tough one, but I sense an increasing mood of optimism in the Gooner Nation and mounting despair at the wrong end of Seven Sisters Road. Should we show some compassion and spare a thought for all the overly distressed Totts smashing their heads against brick walls on Sunday?
Perhaps a more relaxed summer is on the cards than recent past seasons, at least in the red half of North London – I certainly hope so.
My only note of caution in the current North London is red euphoria is that we have only qualified for the qualifiers which doesn't as yet guarantee us a place in the Champions League. Will a pre-season tour on the other side of the world help our preparations? Certainly not. But such cautions are absolutely minimal in comparison to Thursday football and a summer of discontent, such as they will be suffering

Brian Dawes

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Arsenal.con and fans

Arsenal.con have a promotion on their website at the moment which implies that becoming a fan somehow requires that you become a paid up Member. What abject rollocks. I've been a fan for about 56 years now and it has never required me becoming a paid up member of anything.
Being a Football fan is the one few things you can do from any part of the world for whatever reason at zero cost and become part of a greater family of like minded people across the globe. As it happens I became a fan because as a kid I was brought up less than two miles from the ground and because my Granddad was a Gooner long before that word was even coined. Some do it for family heritage reasons, others do it because they are introduced by friends, others just start to support their local team. It becomes a life long love affair between a man or woman and his or her Club. But it matters not why you are an Arsenal fan or from where you support our Club.
Real fans don't need to be paid up members and none of this lot were
I get the marketing concept due to the perceived need for massive international funding but it bugs me You don't have to purchase branded goods, attend games, pay for live televised matches or study daily updates from various media resources to be a fan. These are all optional extras and let's face it most of us suckers own replica shirts, or pin-badges, have a hoard of programmes, books, dvd's, t-shirts and all the rest. But you don't have to be a hard-core mental supporter and travel to every away game or go to every home game to consider yourself a fan. Although that said many of us do at some time in their lives if it is physically and financially possible to do so.
Being a fan is a state of mind and not a Red, Silver, Gold, Platinum or Diamond Level card holder.
So how do you know if you're a fan or not? Well if you're at all stressed about tonight's match and will be either at the match, following the match or looking for the result in near panic mode as soon as you're able you are part of our Great Gooner Nation. This even applies to all those Gooners who irritate you on the internet no matter how much crap they spout on websites, Arsenal groups or social media.
If you can't be at the game in person tonight for whatever reason I'll be there encouraging the team and going horse on your behalf. It's what fans do.
Brian Dawes @gooner48

Monday, 13 May 2013

Cybury Gooners

At the zenith of the last Millennium, scrolls were found that told the tale of a brave band of men, men who fought to preserve the honour of The Arsenal. In the year of our Lord 1995, from the humble beginnings of the Arsenal e-mail list, sprung a brave group of men who wanted to battle the hordes from other tribes; tribes whose inhabitants were still struggling with fire and wheels!

In November of 95, a battle was agreed between the tribe of Arsenal and the local neanderthals of Middlesex hotscum, and neutral ground was set as the arena. On that sunny day, superior tactics and calibre of soldier triumphed and the hordes from Middlesex were repelled, scurrying over the hills in retreat to their hovels to find some bins to dip.
From this first triumph, there came many more challenges, especially from the frozen wastelands of the North, as word spread of a tribe from Londinium, who were renowned for their skills in haute couture, wit and rapscallion cocksmanship. Pathfinders were sent forth, to evaluate enemy weaknesses and tactical acumen, before the invasion was launched.
Several attacks were repelled by the Northern hordes who held advantage of the terrain and knowledge of its secrets, but these were temporary victories, a mere flicker of light in the darkness. In 1999, The Arsenal launched a full on attack, assembling its finest collection of warriors, all skilled in the areas of combat required to defeat any enemy it came across.
At the end of 2 days of fighting, they stood alone on the plains of Leicestershire, unvanquished, victorious, as one!

The scrolls read of heroes called Melis and Richmond, Cohen and Lowry, names that even now the children of The Arsenal tribe are told of at night before they sleep, tales of bravery and comradeship!

They fought on, winning battles throughout the land, for several years, until at last they found that other tribes learnt from their skills and expertise and took advantage of their lack of refuelling points, until they were forced back.
They all returned to their families, tired and scarred, assuming false identities in order to protect those they loved. Taking up new professions as Blacksmiths or farmers, trying to forget their violent pasts, pretending the rage had died inside.
But there lingered a spark.

A tiny ember.

In each one of them.

Until the years had passed and each had forgotten past lives and glories. Or so they thought.

Then one day, a message came to them. Delivered by various means. From where it came, they were not sure, but the sender knew each and every one of them, knew what would add fuel to the fire, what would turn a spark into a flame, a flame in to a fire and a fire to an inferno!

So they trained, each of them in isolation, remembering past lives, skills thought long forgotten, feelings thought buried for eternity. How soon they remembered the old ways, the ease with which an opponent could be beaten, the pride taken at wielding their weapon of choice, besting any man sent to test their mettle.

They gathered. It was time they were told. Time to remind the world of their glory. Their time.

A few weeks from now, on a ragged patch of earth called Leeds, the Northern hordes will face obliteration!

Just there the barbarians will huddle, sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers... knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the swords and spears of 11 men. Yet they will now stare across the pitch at twenty Gooners, commanding two gazillion social media Arsenal fans!

The enemy may outnumber us a paltry two to one, good odds for any Gooner. But on that day we rescue a world from Fergusonism and tyranny and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine.

Give thanks men, to the legend of Cybury and the brave 11! TO VICTORY!

If you have been raised to fight for the cause of The Arsenal and possess the required battle skills and can march to the wastelands of Leeds for Sat and Sun 15th/16th June and have reached your 35th birthday without losing any important limbs, then join our band of brothers in a quest for glory.

If you are yet to reach 35 years, then we are assembling an army of younger warriors to train for an assault in 2014 on a secondary but larger target and will receive any interested applicants now, for advance planning based on this year's reconnaissance of the enemy and their younger armies!

For further tales from the Bard of Cybury or just to seek enlightenment on how to fight for The Arsenal, send your missive to

Join us and taste the glory of victory and wine drunk in remembrance of friends and team mates once more!

Keepers of the faith, never forget. We are The Arsenal.

Mark King